God’s Judgments and Ours

Intimacy with God

Nayyara Samuel

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Dec 31, 2017

R ecently over the months, God has been helping me learn about what His love is really like. The world misunderstands love – the Bible says love is not self-seeking but the world thinks the opposite. But God’s love is different – God is love. So everything that God is helps us understand love. So I continue to look at Him and understand Him more to know what love really is. God has been showing me how His love is evident in how He judges . As the Bible says

Lord God Almighty, true and righteous are your judgments. (Revelations 16:7)

I want to talk about judging ourselves and the natural and predictable results of this – I will call this self-judgment and focus on this instead of judging others – because even though I judge others, my greater sin is often judging myself. Self-judgment has only two paths: self-condemnation or self-righteousness. This is sadly true – it took me a long time to admit this but by the grace of God, I am learning to lay down this attitude. So what do I mean by self-judgement? Self-judgement to me means always having a critical eye towards yourself, to put expectations of holiness on yourself with the intent of satisfying your standards of righteousness. These standards might line up with the righteous laws of God but if the goal is to present ourselves holy in our sights or to justify ourselves, then we have not understood God’s ways and His place as our rightful judge.

Let’s talk about self-condemnation – someone who continually fails to let go of their sin feels this most. I think self-condemnation is the biggest hinderance to seeing our sins rightly, even though it may seem counterintuitive. I feel condemned because I see my sins in relation to myself rather than the person against whom my sins are committed, God. Think about it – if you hurt someone and realize how much you have hurt them, what is the right thing to do? Should you go into your room and wallow in the awareness of how wrong you were and hope you will be better some day? Is this even right – wouldn’t it be natural (if you understand that you have hurt someone) to have a urgency to go ask for forgiveness and do your best to mend the hurt of the one you offended? But so many of us ignore God and instead focus on our sinfulness and how to make ourselves right. Exalting our judgment over God’s, we condemn ourselves and almost think that being sorry is better than not being sorry. When we judge ourselves harshly like this, we are placing the emphasis on ourself and identifying the sin with the committer. This kind of judgment takes God out of the equation and leads to isolation and we know that isolation breeds sin even more.

Think about God’s judgments in contrast. When God talks about sin (especially to Israel in numerous passages in the Old Testament), He always presents His complaints about how He is offended and grieved.

Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth: for the Lord hath spoken, I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against Me. (Isaiah 1:2)

Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. The Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and His Spirit was grieved (Genesis 6:5-6)

If you are willing to listen to God, you will understand that there is an appeal of being hurt by the sins of His children which were committed against Him. A person who understands that their sin is against God truly understands the gravity of their sin. David understood this by the power of the Holy Spirit:

Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight; so that You are right in Your verdict and justified when You judge. (Psalm 51:4)

David not only realizes that his sin is against God but also acknowledges that the one who was sinned against has the right to judge and that His judgement is what matters (not David’s judgement against himself). Maybe what is more important is that God’s judgements are not without mercy. Self-condemnation does not have any mercy – we judge without mercy but God is gracious in His judgements. Remember that we judge ourselves only after we have sinned and then feel guilty. God knows even before we sin that we will sin, yet He still lets us sin and after we have sinned offers us the chance to turn from our sins. This invitation to turn from our sins also helped me see how God views sin in relation to us – when we condemn, we see the person and their sin as one. God wants to see the person separated from their sin – how different is that than our thinking! God’s judgement exposes sins so they can be separated from the person. That is His desire and tells us how different His love is than ours. And understanding this kind of grace is what leads to repentance (not an awareness of our sin):

…God’s kindness leads to repentance (Romans 2:4)

One last thing that jumped out to me as I was reading Isaiah 1 recently is that God is willing to involve and engage us to satisfy our understanding of the matter. For someone who is doubting that God cares about the concerns of their heart as self-condemnation takes over, listen to this:

Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. (Isaiah 1:18)

Sometimes we want to accept things without understanding them, but God Himself is inviting us to reason together with Him. That tells me so much about His love – He desires deeply to show us His ways especially helping us understand that we are free from condemnation if we instead rightly let Him be the judge. Because He is a merciful judge.

Now I want to talk a little bit about self-righteousness. Self-righteousness is very much like self-condemnation but in the opposite direction – self-righteous people think they are good because they have failed to sin. I feel self-righteous not because I have avoided sins but because I have avoided certain things that I consider sin or that are more grievous. I was only able to sustain this thinking because I was making myself judge of what sin is worse or what is indeed good. But if all sin is against God, I should be asking Him what sin is worse and we know that the truth is that God counts all sinners as equal:

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. (James 2:10)

I hope I have communicated faithfully what God has been showing me – that He is judge and I am not. We are called to judge and rightly divide between right and wrong but we are not to be the judge of ourselves. This whole journey of understanding this began with a verse that God used to help me turn away from my wrong thinking when it comes to judging myself. I hope it blesses anyone reading it and that the Holy Spirit will illuminate it.

I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not vindicate me. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the proper time; wait until the Lord comes … (1 Corinthians 4:3-5).

Guest Post: I am the Righteousness of God by Ifeoma Uddoh

Yeiwoman Ministries

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Aug 29, 2017

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Guest Post: I am the Righteousness of God by Ifeoma Uddoh

I was talking to a client today and lied.

I tried to remedy it but the Spirit noticed I was quite unhappy about the situation and asked “How did you become righteous?”.

I was immediately reminded of various verses in scripture that elucidate the process of being “righteous”.

For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.
– 2 Corinthians 5: 21

But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption.
-1 Corinthians 1:30

For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.
Romans 5:17

Then I remembered…Christ is my righteousness, and I am righteous in Christ. The reason why Christians have not matured to produce the type of fruits they want is because they have not received righteousness fully to become righteousness.

God knew your works would not buy you righteousness in His sight (this is why a non-sinning unbeliever cannot go to heaven) so He made full provision in the person of Christ.

So let me attempt to break it down…

A dog must bark

A bird must fly

and

A sinner must sin

but then….

A righteous man must perform righteous deeds.

So what is righteousness?

It is right standing with God.

So go out today and every day saying “I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, therefore I do righteous deeds only.”

When you practice proclaiming this and eventually sin, DO NOT STOP AFFIRMING. Just quickly say “Jesus, forgive me. Thank you for forgiving me”. And KEEP AFFIRMING. You will subsequently realize that you are bearing fruits of righteousness.

That “sinner” mentality you think is humble is a disgrace and disregard for the sufficient work of Christ.

Guest Post : I Surrendered! by Benita Vukugbe

Faith
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Aug 29, 2017

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Guest Post : I Surrendered! by Benita Vukugbe

I met Benita last year.

Well, not a physical meeting (that is yet to happen) but we are members of a Christian sisterhood. I heard her story and thought one word – courage.

Benita was drawn to God at a time when she was down-and-out, suicidal and all. She turned by sheer divine intervention and her story is nothing short of inspirational.

This is a testimony that shows it is never too late for God.

———————————————————————————————–

I’ve always known life to be all about cute boys and great sex with lots of money and selfish ambition…until I met Christ.

I was in my second trimester. I was just recovering from an illness but for some weird reason, I remained in the hospital. But I’ll always be thankful for that encounter.

I had a discussion with two other pregnant ladies with me at that time. We talked about men. That conversation got me worried about the future.

What if he hooks up with another lady or life just gets really messy? Then what?

Bad enough that dreams had to be halted as a result of the pregnancy. Could I deal with getting shipped off to a remote village, stuck with a baby and an on-and-off baby daddy who somehow got upgraded to ‘hubby’? Where would I get the basic necessities if he doesn’t support?

A failed abortion! The abortion should have worked!!

Later at night, I agreed dying would be best for everyone. I felt restless, I kept reminding myself why I should die. A couple of pills and it would be done!

For some reason, I picked up a Gideon Bible some missionaries had brought earlier. I kept saying a lot of things….asking God for forgiveness. I felt a force keep moving me along the ward. I saw a flyer for a church event and vowed in my heart that if I could attend, I would surrender my life to Jesus.

The next day, hope came bashing! I was discharged, my hospital bills were settled miraculously. Best of all, I attended the event and publicly accepted Jesus (just like I promised I would).

A lot of things changed. I saw my ambition for what it was – selfish. I accepted my role as a vessel used to raise my daughter. I am DAILY learning how to make Christ the center of my life.

Guest Post: Invade Me by Mobolaji Olorisade

Yeiwoman Ministries

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Aug 29, 2017

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Guest Post: Invade Me by Mobolaji Olorisade

Invade me, Holy Spirit, do not ask for permission.
If you knock and I hesitate; I give you permission to break the door.

Invade me Holy Spirit, do not ask for permission.
If my plans do not align with God’s will,
Spoil my plans for His glory.

Invade me, Holy Spirit, do not ask for permission.
If I become proud and lie that I am self-made,
Expose me and show the world the truth that you made me.

Invade me, Holy Spirit, do not ask for permission.
If I become cool with my salvation and ashamed to share it,
Slap me back to my senses and remind me that you are the air that every human must breathe.

Invade me, Holy Spirit, do not ask for permission.
If I plan my life in the flesh,
Spoil my selfish plans for your eternal plan and purpose for my life.

Invade me, Holy Spirit, do not ask for permission.
If I even try to walk away from you or allow weariness to fill my soul,
Shove me back into your presence.

Invade me, Holy Spirit, do not ask for permission.
As painful as it may seem, break my walls and rebuild Your life in me.
No, do not ask for permission.

Invade me, Holy Spirit.

YeiSings – Jehovah Ebenezer (by Onos)

YeiSings

Oma Ogban

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Aug 16, 2017

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This is a song that has brought comfort to my soul in times of despair.

As is our culture in Yeiwoman, I have shared….

The Singer is apt when she says this:

We call you Jehovah Ebenezer because you are the God who has never lost a case.
The healer in sickness
The husband to the widow
The lawyer in the court room
A very present help in the time of need
Jehovah Ebenezer – that’s who you are Jesus

(lifted from Instagram and paraphrased a bit)

Listen and be blessed

Lyrics

Jehovah Ebenezer 2x
Jehovah Ebenezer 2x
Repeat
Lord you are my helper 2x
Lord you are my helper 2x
Repeat
(Yoruba)
I will sing
To the one who’s got my back
I will sing
To the one who reigns on high
I will sing
To the everlasting king
He never fails
He never lies
He’s always there
Repeat

The Reflection

Naima Samuel

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Jul 6, 2017

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I was having a video chat with four of my siblings the other night when we started talking about what it means to have faith. The conversation went from a casual chat to a moderated discussion where we had to raise our hands to speak. We laughed about it because we are usually pretty good about speaking and hearing each other out without using standards like Robert rules of order. However, given the importance of the topic and our zeal to present our own understanding of it, it was necessary to have one person speak at one time. Without going into the exact words shared during our conversations (which I myself don’t recall), we were talking about faith, works, and the law. The “meeting” concluded with us all agreeing faith to mean both believing and doing: faith and obedience go together and one without the other means nothing. Faith is the seed, and works are the fruit of that seed. If we have faith, we will do the works that God has called us to do. Just as it is written, “faith without works is dead” (James 2:17), and “show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works” (James 2:18). Thanks to our order of conduct, through our discussion we were able to see that we all believed the same thing.

James 1 says:

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”

You see, the Word judges the intentions and motives of our hearts and helps us see things we do not see in ourselves. The Holy Spirit brings conviction to our hearts as we let God’s Word speak to us. And then, He gently leads us to see what we ought to be by showing us what we ought to do as written in the law of God. It is the law of God that shows us a reflection of our true selves, the person He created us to be. This law is called the law of liberty, not because we are free to do whatever we want, but because we are finally free to do what we ought. Our desires align with God’s desires, and our wants get turned towards good deeds. Sometimes we forget that our very struggle is that we can’t do the good we want to do, and instead do the wrong we don’t want to. Jesus sets us free from that; through faith in Jesus we are able to do the good we want to. If we don’t do the good we are supposed to, we decisive ourselves and the truth is not in us (1 John 1:8).

Although I knew much of this, somehow that night after my discussion with my siblings, this topic started to weigh even more heavily on my heart. And then the next day, it felt like God was highlighting the topic again! The sermon one of my siblings heard at church the following day was on James 1*. The bible verses that God spoke to me during my devotions also came from James 1. I understood that God was using our video chat to teach us something. I realized how I had become indifferent to what was being taught even though I knew the truth. God requires us to live righteously. The Bible says that the righteous shall live by faith (Habakkuk 2:4) and that very faith produces in us an unquenchable desire to do the works of God. We are saved by faith not by works, but we are saved for works. What are these works? They are the good works God has assigned us to do from the beginning of time (Ephesians 2:10), to obey God and do His will (Matthew 12:50; Matthew 7:21).

When we lose sight of the meaning of faith, we fall into the trap of thinking that we can do what ever we want. We fail to see the seriousness of sin, we lose sight of the gravity of holiness, and we forget the requirements of God’s law. The Bible says, “Do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil” (1 Peter 2:16) and yet, many justify their negligence of the pursuit of godliness and holiness by saying they are under grace. They forget that God says no one will see Him without holiness (Hebrews 12:14). The law that Jesus gave us requires more from us than the ten commandments. How then can we pretend that we do not have to do anything to stay right with God? This kind of attitude does not lead to repentance.

Jesus said, “I have not come to abolish the law or the prophets, but to fulfill them” (Matthew 5:17). Jesus fulfilled the law and by doing so extended His grace to every believer to obey God and say no to ungodliness (Titus 2:12). Jesus gave His life so that through Him, we would have the ability to obey God’s law. This was the Father’s plan from the beginning – to give us a heart of flesh instead of a heart of stone, a heart that is obedient to His law. As it is written, “I will write my law on their hearts” (Jeremiah 31:33). Our faith in Jesus changes us from the inside out, transforming us into the image of the Son (2 Corinthians 3:18). The reflection we see in God’s perfect law of liberty is the likeness of Jesus, therefore, let us not forget Whom we have seen. Let us strive to do good, in every moment and every place, because that is what God has called us to. Let us stop justifying our selfish desires, our laziness or lack of interest. Let us get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in us which is able to save our souls (James 1:21). Let us fully depend on God to reflect the person of Jesus in all we do. For this in fact is who we are, and who we are becoming if we obey the leading of the Shepherd of our souls.

*Sermon: Ellerslie Road Baptist Church sermon from June 11, Listening and Doing @ https://erbc.ca/listening-and-doing-dave-schmidt-june-11-2017/

Stoikiy Muzik

Faith
Read

Oma Ogban

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May 15, 2017

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Ilike movies. You should meet me and you will know that this goes without saying.

No, not the ones with the fancy graphics and amazing stunts. It’s the ones with good ol’ drama that get me most. First because those ‘boring’ dramas give you the opportunity to enjoy good acting. Plus they inspire deep thought (at least for me)…and I like thought provoking entertainment.

Anyway, back to the gist of this one-sided conversation. Stoikiy Muzhik.
I saw ‘Bridge of Spies’ recently and it has made its way into my very short list of favorite movies. Primarily cause…well, refer to the beginning of this article for reasons why.
Forgive me but I’ll need to give a relatively long summary of the movie as it is necessary to set the tone for my message. The movie is set in the 1950s and is about a lawyer – James Donovan (played by Tom Hanks) who is chosen to defend a Russian spy. Not a very smart move considering that it is proven knowledge that the guy is way past guilty of the crimes he was accused of. So amidst threats, guilty verdicts and assassination attempts (on him and his family), Mr. Donovan remains committed to getting his client exonerated of charges against him. After a failed appeal to the Supreme Court, the U.S Central Intelligence ask Mr. Donovan to negotiate an exchange – his client for a U.S. spy who was captured by the USSR. Long story short, he is sent to the USSR and somehow, beyond inexplicable odds, he manages to bag a successful mission (i.e. the exchange was successful).

But what sticks with me most is a conversation lawyer guy had with Mr. Russian Spy before the Supreme Court appeal. Mr. Russian spy tells Mr. Donovan of a man who used to visit his family when he was a child. So one day, soldiers burst into their home and beat everyone – his father, mum, and the visitor. But every time the soldiers beat the visitor (each time harder than the last), he always stood back up. The soldiers eventually gave up and nicknamed him ‘Stoikiy Muzhik’ meaning ‘the Standing Man’.

I think a lot about this story. And every time I think about it, I remember one of my many favorite passages in the Bible:

Don’t, enemy, crow over me. I’m down, but I’m not out. I’m sitting in the dark right now, but God is my light. God is on my side and is going to get me out of this. He’ll turn on the lights and show me his ways. I’ll see the whole picture and how right he is. -Micah 7:8-9 (MSG)

You see, I think living is HARD. I mean life is great and all. But thinking deeply, life is really hard.

Why? Cause you are CONSTANTLY fighting. When you aren’t the vices of other people or the evil one, you are fighting yourself…your mind. That voice that just keeps telling you plausible lies. Now, some of these battles you will win and some you will lose. But you have to keep fighting through every single one of them. Otherwise, there’d be no point ‘living’.
Now the Stoikiy Muzhik story brings to fore a category of battles that I had never thought about – the type that is designed to keep you down. And the only way to fight this type is to determine to stand up after ‘the blow’.

Now, I think about my battles…and they have been a number. Some really have managed to keep me down. But today…I am renewed with a strength that “yet, while I am down, I will get back up”. So here I am picking myself up, ridding myself of whatever muss may have been gathered from my fall and striding through life’s long road.

Life is hard…but it is a gift.

And I owe it to God to live it out the way He intended for me to.

And so…to anyone who cares to read. Whatever it is, at least we are here now and someday, I do hope we get to share our stories (I definitely will share mine). But today, considering you are down from that strike – that blow that is supposed to keep you down, you have GOT TO look at that seemingly powerful soldier (with a smirk that shows you know you will win) and GET BACK UP. You can’t give up…frankly cause you aren’t supposed to – that will mean victory for the striker.

With all of the strength you can muster, rise again.

I am not guaranteeing that he (or she) won’t strike again. But you’ll keep winning as long as you stand.

And we’ll have great victory stories to tell at the end of it all.

Seeking Unity

Naima Samuel

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Feb 3, 2017

2

I
have been thinking about unity for a while now. At the time of the US elections, I guess the topic of unity started to become more pronounced in my mind. Reading through all the posts on Facebook about the elections was difficult and heavy. I felt great sorrow over the division among Christians. The words of Richard J. Mouw reflects what many Christians both inside and outside America were thinking:

“How do we talk together now about the deeper issues without mutual accusations? How do we love each other in continuing to work together in the service of the only true and righteous King?”

It seemed to have gotten to a point where people on both sides were not listening to each other. Everyone was focused on “joining a camp” because the divisions were (and still are) strong. The politics in America have brought many things to light, including the division in the Church.

The disagreements I saw in posts seemed to stem from different outlooks on critical topics such as abortion, racism, purity, etc. What struck me was that God was not at the center of almost all the posts. I asked myself – “Where’s God’s voice in all of this?” Surely both sides had ample verses from the Bible to support their arguments, but felt justified in ignoring the biases on both sides. The comments seemed more like a war of opinions than a sensible discussion on God’s will and His work on the earth. I read posts in which strong men of God accused each other of racism or bias and it was very sad. I wondered if anyone ever thought that perhaps it is not about taking sides.

We cannot deny that both sides have legitimate concerns and we don’t need to reach a conclusion as to which is more important –they are both equally important. We have to be willing to accept that, and scripture will prove that to us if we read it fully without being selective. How can you compare physical abuse of a child due to racism with the pain an unborn child faces when he is murdered in his mother’s womb? Why would you compare the two? God would be grieved over both and He would protect both the unborn child and the child who is abused–He doesn’t need our opinion as to which is more evil and He certainly doesn’t need to choose one over the other. Why then do we argue in this way? Isn’t God able to protect the innocent? Why is it so hard for us to believe that God can eradicate evil without being constrained? We say that if Hillary had won, there would be no racism. Or since Trump has won, there won’t be a greater spread of lawlessness. I couldn’t help but wonder, can God not deal with the racism now or was Hillary going to do it? Couldn’t God have prevented lawlessness from spreading under Hillary, or is Trump the one who will ensure that laws are created and/or upheld? We limit God by making such statements and conclusions, as if we rely on candidates to do any and everything. We fail to recognize that it’s not OK to depend on man and forget God (Jeremiah 17:5).

I felt very sad seeing the division because I know that God doesn’t desire for us to be divided – that’s why Jesus prayed for unity before His crucifixion. We should grieve because the pain and wickedness that is spreading is great – not just in America, but all over the world. But in grieving, we should not stop trusting God and believing in Him. Is it only in good times that that we talk about “All things for Your glory Lord”? Why can’t we see hope in all situations? Why lose confidence in God because of men? God hears the afflicted and defends them. Why forget that we are called to love each other as Jesus loved us? When we love someone, we listen to them and we weigh their words in light of scripture. We don’t separate ourselves from that person and form a group with those who think like us and exclude our brother or sister who thinks differently. If what a believer says is in line with scripture, then on what basis do we choose to close our ears and create segregation?

I don’t think that these disagreements didn’t exist earlier, but I do believe that the elections in America brought many deep issues to light. Many of us have forgotten who God is in the midst of the tensions, speculations, and fears in our chaotic world today. We have let the world tell us what is right and wrong instead of seeking the truth in God’s word. We have let unbelief in without even realizing it. When we are at peace and are in a comfortable place, we tend to quote scripture and encourage each other. And when things get difficult and hard, we forget the very scriptures we quoted. I love the words from the song “I’ve Got Something to Say” by Starfield –the song expresses feelings many of us struggle with when we have a hard time seeing God in our circumstances. The line I’ve prayed many times in my difficult moments is “But help me not forget in darkness, the things that I believed in light” – these words remind me of how many of us are acting today when we are faced with some very harsh situations – we have forgotten our faith in God’s sovereignty, we have forgotten how we are taught to love one another and honor one another above ourselves, we have forgotten that we trust in God when we are afraid. In this dark place, we no longer remember the things we believed and proclaimed in the light.

It is through our faith that we can testify to the sovereignty of God. This is a time for believing and fighting in faith – faith in God and belief in the bond of unity with which we are bound to each other – to know that we are loved by God and by each other. Now is the time for us to love each other as we were always meant to – not superficially, but from our hearts, without discrimination. It takes love to listen to and pray for our brothers and sisters and to be united in mind and spirit. Only then can we reach out to those who are hurting and speak the truth to them in love. Without loving God will all our heart, soul, mind and strength, we will not be able to love others or respond as He wants us to. Division, racism, injustice, lawlessness, apathy are all real, and that’s why having love for each other is so important.

It is my prayer that God will exalt His Name and the Truth above our understanding of situations so that we may fight to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3) and are able to trust in the LORD with all our heart instead of leaning on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). May we be doers of the word, not just hearers (James 1:22), and may we understand that it is love that binds everything together in perfect unity (Colossians 3:14).

YeiSings – Do It Again (by Elevation Worship)

Oma Ogban

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Jan 23, 2017

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YeiSings – Do It Again (by Elevation Worship)

Inspiration

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
– Deut 31:6(NLV)

A reminder that God never changes…and He never fails. Be encouraged; hold unto His promises.

Lyrics

Walking around these walls
I thought by now they’d fall
But You have never failed me yet
Waiting for change to come
Knowing the battle’s won
For You have never failed me yet

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You’ve never failed me yet

I know the night won’t last
Your Word will come to pass
My heart will sing Your praise again
Jesus You’re still enough
Keep me within Your love
My heart will sing Your praise again

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed me yet

I’ve seen You move, You move the mountains
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I’ll see You do it again

[x3]
I’ll see You do it again

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I’m still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed me yet

And You never failed me yet
I never will forget
You never failed me yet
I never will forget

Faith…and Doubt – My Struggle

Oma Ogban

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Jan 9, 2017

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I woke by 4 a.m. for my usual time with the Lord. My week was going extremely well; I was at my best….and I knew why. I was close to God, time wasn’t an issue anymore …despite my tight schedule and all the pressure from work, I still made time to commune with my Maker. I would wake up in the wee hours and I never felt tired. So on this day, I left for work by 6 p.m. (which is pretty typical for Lagos residents) and by 7:15a.m I was at work. I casually browsed the internet…well, Facebook to be precise and there it was-some message about Jesus Christ being a fictitious character made up by Roman Emperor, Constantine. I kept saying to myself…it can’t be, it shouldn’t be. At that moment, the very foundation of my faith was questioned. I kept researching and the arguments were numerous but also confusing.

To describe the myriad of emotions would be impossible but at some point, I delved into some form of depression. The questions were stirring me in the face and I couldn’t answer them. What if at the end, Jesus (the Son of God) never existed or truly, there was no God. What if all of these…all my beliefs were false? Was I ‘brainwashed’ as described by these ‘logical’ thinkers. And to top it all up…no one I talked to seemed to have the aha! insight to convince me. Slowly, I stopped believing…and it felt like I was in some form of daze. I stopped praying because I couldn’t silent the small voice that kept telling me that my prayers were all some form of mumbo jumbo….I even felt like I hated the Bible. I still went to church…but all the things I once loved about the gathering with other Christians seemed like a lie.

But you know what? Thanks to a God who remains faithful in our faithlessness. I picked up my Bible one day to read…casually if I must say and I was led to Job 22: 2 – 3 (AMP):

“Can a man be profitable to God? Surely he that is wise is profitable to himself. Is it any pleasure or advantage to the Almighty that you are righteous (upright and in right standing with Him)? Or is it gain to Him that you make your ways perfect?”

I realized in what seemed like an epiphany- if I choose God and righteousness, I would not be doing this for God or for other men; it would be for me. As selfish as it sounds, it all made everything come together. Within me, I came to the conclusion that if I choose righteousness and at the end of it all, there is a God, then I won’t be found on the wrong side. On the other hand, if there is no God, at least I would have lived right on earth. Whichever way, I win.

From then on, I have realized a lot. To me the most important lesson was written by Dr William Craig where he states that there is a difference between knowing and showing Christianity to be true. To me, Christianity is no longer about the religion and beliefs; Christianity is my life, it is my all, it is my identity…and who can be more real to me than…me.

I have found and inculcated strategies that have helped me deal with my doubt:

I have to ensure that I am a regenerated Christian and constantly surrender myself to the Holy Spirit. That way, I have that counselor who assures my faith in God.
I actively cultivate christian virtues. I always analogize this by referring to the effects of good diet and exercise on the body. Faith is most ‘healthy’ when it is exercised regularly. I have developed a routine for communicating with God (praying and reading his word). I also take time out regularly to fast.
I try not to be a ‘Lone Ranger’ Christian- I am active in my church, so that I am serving others. By doing this, I have often seen evidence that convinces me that God is real.
Despite (and especially in)my doubt, I share your faith with others. The effects of contributing positively to another’s growth in Christianity are truly rejuvenating.
I always remember that I am fighting a battle. The Bible says in Ephesians 6:12 that we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against (spiritual) principalities and powers. Doubt is a ploy to lead you away. But…there is a solution in the next verse saying that we should put on the whole armor of God which includes the sword of the Spirit – the Word of God (vs17).
I seek answers to my doubt. From time to time, when I have the opportunity, I select one of my ‘doubt’ questions, and go to work on answering it. When doubt is resolved, I am overwhelmed with a sense of “intellectual peace” which consequently, inspires confidence that there are solutions to the remaining difficulties I have faced.

To someone who is going through this sort of struggle….I want to encourage you. To tell you that you are not alone in this “battle”- most of us have gone through or still go through periods of doubt.
Moments of doubt don’t make you less of a believer but how you get through them do. I’ll like to end by reminding you that…

Faith is a choice. It is a choice you will have to make everyday.
In your walk, you would always find people who think your ‘faith’ is foolishness.And you’ll have to accept that.
You may never have all the answers.. but this is what should reinforces your trust in God. You should have that conviction that you are right and some day, the ‘mysteries’ would all make sense.

I hope I have been able to talk to someone who is dealing with doubts in their growth. I would love to hear from you.